Birthday Celebration Part 4: Seeing The Lucky One

Today me, my mom, and sister went and saw the movie The Lucky One. It was SO good, I’m in love. And Zac Efron was SO hot in it. I couldn’t even believe that was him, he did such a great job with this role. I read the book and have been waiting for this movie to come out for so long and I was so happy that it came out on my birthday weekend. It was amazing… <3

Birthday Celebration Part 3: Celebrating with Family!

Today was my actual birthday and it was a pretty mellow day. I spent most of the day just sleeping/resting. Then, that evening Brad came over and so did my sister’s friend Ashley and my friend Stacey. We had ribs and they were SO good! Then, me and my dad ended up staying up until 5 AM rocking out. I ate more ribs at 5 AM after a long night of drinking and finally hit the bed at 6 AM! Crazy times!

Oh! And I got the Star Wars X-Box 360 for my birthday from my family/Brad. Swing! :D

Birthday Celebration Part 2: Gators with Friends!

Brad took the day off work so that we could head to Orlando a day early. So we got up and went to Denny’s for breakfast and then headed to the Outlet Mall for a bit before heading home to Lake Mary. Got to visit with my family for a bit and do a little shopping, then that evening I met all my friends at Gators. I was expecting maybe 10 people, but said 15 just to be safe and I was kind of worried because I hadn’t heard from anyone all day and it was pouring rain at the time I said to be there so I was a little worried that no one was going to show up. Plus, I’ve been gone for nearly a year, so I didn’t know if people would really come and see me or not, but I was pleasantly surprised when nearly everyone who said they were going to show up did and we ended up filling up every chair at the table! It was a great time! The night slowly died down and people started leaving around 10 PM with the exception of Kirwin and his date, so me, Brad, Kirwin, and Sheri all headed back to my parents house for some Rock Band fun! Tony was there too and it was a just a great night with friend and family. I had so much fun and I felt very loved and so grateful for great friends and family. Here’s a few photos from that evening.

 

Lmao at Kirwin. Crazy mofo! He’s great though!

 

 

I’m just going to post those two, the rest are on my FB since this thing takes forever to load one picture! I also got a lot of really cool gifts which I never expect people to get me anything ever, so I’m always really surprised when they do and am always really surprised at how well people really know me! I got scrap book stuff, a puppy puzzle, a picture frame, a gift card, and some other picture holder type thing. I love it, all of it. I love my friends, they’re great. Especially with me being away and not really having any friends over here, it just meant so much to me to have them there and to have one special night together since I don’t get those very often. And it was also cool that I was able to bring some of them back over to my parents house. Kirwin and Sheri stayed until nearly 1 in the morning, Brad left around 2, then, me, my dad, and Tony stayed up until 4 AM just talking and BSing and finally ended the night by eating fish and hush puppies, good stuff! Overall, awesome day! :D

Post Secrets

I love this one. For obvious reasons. :D

Love this one too. I can’t wait to travel the world someday with my love. <3

I don’t know what it is about this one that I like, but there’s just something about it that just really stands out to me.

I think that’s what usually happens when someone goes away and comes back. It affects so many people.

It’s funny…we just got done talking in class the other day about how people don’t really “need love.” So this one just struck me as interesting.

Haha, I find this one to be amusing for some reason. Probably because so many people think I’m going to school for “psychology” and that I’m going to make all this money, when in reality I’m going for Mental Health Counseling and am probably not going to make any money. But hey, you never know. You wouldn’t think someone would make money with an art degree and they did.

Haha, I kind of know the feeling. I don’t hate everyone, but I could probably delete over half my list and I wouldn’t miss anyone on there! But hey, it’s good for connections, you never know when you might need someone!

 

So…I just went on my 7th and 8th job interview and found out I didn’t get the job on Friday. It’s depressing, but after thinking about it for the past few days, I guess in a way I’m kind of happy about it. Being completely honest with myself…I think I would have hated it. I hate getting up in the mornings, and to do it everyday, 5 days a week and working until 4-5:00 at night, I just don’t think I could do it. At least I can’t see myself doing it. Plus, it’s a business environment and that’s not my thing. Now, if I were doing it for Counseling, that would be different, at least then I’m helping people and doing my passion, doing something I’m interested in. Then, it would be no problem working those types of hours, it would be worth it then. But for me, right here, right now, it’s just not worth it. To give up my freedom so to say is just not worth it. I have so much freedom right now and it’s nice, it’s something I’ve never really had and I just need to enjoy it.
 
The reason I don’t really like my job right now is because it’s the same job that I had when I was 16 and it’s just not where I pictured myself at 25. Plus, I’m not really making a lot of money right now either, although I don’t really need a lot of money right now either. I just worry about going further and further into debt with my student loans, but I guess I would be regardless of what job I had right now. And I know that’s something that I don’t need to worry about until further down the road.
 
For now I’m giving up. Not permanently, but for a little while. This whole job searching process is exhausting and I can’t handle anymore rejection right now. I just keep telling myself that for whatever reason this is where I’m meant to be and this is what I’m meant to be doing, if I were meant to be doing something else or be somewhere else then I would be.
 
I got really depressed on Friday night, to the point that I wanted to give up on everything…work, school, everything. I wanted to quit because I just felt like it was all so pointless. I worked so hard at my job and it got me nowhere, I worked so hard in school and it got me nowhere. I just want to know when all of this is going to start paying off? What if I’m doing all of this for nothing? What if I still can’t find a job even after I have my Master’s degree? These thoughts keep me up at night sometimes.
 
I eventually realized though that….I can’t give up on my dreams. I have to keep trying no matter what. And I intend too, with all of it, but for now I’m just going to take a break from it all and just focus on me for the next month, month and a half or so. I think I’ll feel better once I do. I just need to rejuvenate and catch my breath so that I can face the world again and then I’ll be back at it!
 
I’m going to find my happy place and find where I belong in this life!

Post Secrets

That’s all I ever really want from anyone.

Sometimes it is just easier.

I would feel the same way, no matter what age I was.

Haha, I moved to be “normal” too. I thought I could be anyone I wanted to be here. Turns out I was still me and I was still “different.”

I somewhat do the same thing with my grandfather, but with the Rolling Stones.